He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
