doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
3pm strippers are depressing
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize