Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He did a backflip because drugs
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
