Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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