Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Your cock deserves a montage
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
