Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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