If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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