is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
