She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Michael Bay diarrhea
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
