we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
