Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
