apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
