singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
