how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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