You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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