Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you will always have a special place in my vag
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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