Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
