doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
