Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize