Pants 0. Shit 1.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize