You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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