batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
