please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
