We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
