Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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