just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
