You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
