You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
