so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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