You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
