and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
