Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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