when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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