Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize