Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
