i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
