Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
