No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
