I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize