The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
