So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
