He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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