So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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