Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
