need another drink. this is the easiest way
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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