I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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