Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
