so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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