Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
