I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
