Your face is a jimmy john
kristin has been a bad kristin
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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