no, he came in my armpit
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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