Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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