Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
