Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
