she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
