did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
