You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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