Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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