so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
