just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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