i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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