It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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